Three techniques to improve your confidence in just 60 seconds.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret… For some people, speaking and selling yourself with confidence isn’t innate, it’s a PRACTICE! That’s right, you have to practice confidence. You have to learn what confidence looks like, how it sounds, and how it feels.
I have three exercises that have become crowd favorites in my coaching sessions and workshops. These three exercises will accelerate your confidence in your speaking skills! In other words–we’re going from 0 to 60 confidence, real quick! (*Queue some Drake theme music!)
The ABC Exercise — #ABCchallenge
I use the alphabet with clients and in my workshops because the alphabet levels the playing field; everybody knows it. It’s something you can recite without having to think–and that’s precisely what I want. What people commonly fear when speaking publicly is that they’ll forget what they want to say, or won’t have anything to say. Doing the ABC exercise shows people just how words can flow when you’re prepared and when you’re so comfortable with the content that you don’t have to search for words.
The ABCchallenge is really simple. You’re going to:
SPEAK the alphabet. Make it sound conversational, not recite it as a song;
Tell people you’ll be reciting the alphabet. Recite it;
Then provide us with a closing.
This is a fun exercise for all ages, and a good one to introduce to the young people in your life. It’s never too early to get them comfortable with public speaking. Do it daily and you’ll see yourself transform in no time! Click on the image above to watch my YouTube demonstration of the ABC Challenge.
Challenge a friend and share your ABC Challenge with me on social @itsmarceiacork. Use #abcchallenge!
The goal and outcome of Box Talk is to teach you how to speak on nearly any subject for one full minute. One minute is usually how much time you might spend answering a question. When you’re being interviewed or doing Q+A you have to learn how to think on your feet and answer questions quickly. Box Talk will teach you to find a way to answer any question with just three points. The key is to prepare an answer that’s personal, honest, and gets as close to answering the question as you can. For example, if you’ve been asked to talk about Plastic Surgery, but you have no first hand experience with plastic surgery you might say, “I’m going to talk to you about three celebrities who’s cosmetic procedures always have us talking: Cardi B, Nikki Minaj, and Kim Kardashian. To your audience, it feels like you’ve still stayed on subject and answered the question. Let’s take a quick look at my short BoxTalk demo, or watch the full YouTube video below!
Practice daily or multiple times a day! Why not–it only takes a minute!
Underscored is an exercise I use to show people how to perfect the manuscript style of speaking. With the manuscript technique, you are actually reading from a prepared script. This is how most keynote speeches are delivered, along with things like eulogies, press conferences and other opportunities. And if you’re planning to do voiceover work you’ll definitely read from a lot of scripts. The goal of this exercise is to learn to make your scripted reading sound more conversational and melodic, and less robotic. We tend to sound like robots when we read. But what you want is vocal variety. That means, you want to deliver a scripted speech in a way that sounds like you would if you were talking off the cuff and having an everyday conversation. We change our pitch, we change our volume, we change our pace. We often have a natural rhythm or cadence when we talk.
I call this exercise Underscored! because to underscore typically means to underline for emphasis. With this exercise, underlining and highlighting key words within your script will help determine what you want to emphasize and what you don’t, and help you find your rhythm and flow. Read below for an at-a-glance view of what to do, then watch this video to see the Underscored technique in action:
First, imagine yourself telling a recent story. Make note of how you sound when you’re excited, sharing private info, or while laughing, etc.
Read through your script. What’s the mood? I want you to underline, highlight and make notes of what you need to emphasize, and of what you’ll understate or run together with less emphasis.
Try to mimic your natural speaking voice.
Resist the urge to overemphasize adjectives, pronouns and verbs. Do this only if the content really calls for it.
Read through repeatedly, and settle into a natural cadence. When you notice a pattern while practicing you’ll know this is your signature flow! Chances are, this is how you sound when you tell stories or share information with friends! Just like we recognize the flow and delivery style of our favorite rappers, actors and voiceover talents, your audiences may have already started to pick up on your signature sound. So use this technique to really nurture what’s becoming your signature sound, and increase your voice recognition.
I hope you enjoy these exercises! Be sure to record yourself and share the videos with me on social using the hashtags #ABCchallenge #BoxTalk #0to60Confidence and #mebethebrand. I can’t wait to see you rebuilding, rebranding, and representing yourself with confidence!
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The idea of speaking in front of an audience is already intimidating enough. Public speaking is one of the top phobias; many people fear it more than death! Instead of focusing on the speaking itself, try improving your public speaking opportunities with these 10 tips that don’t require any speaking whatsoever!
10. Learn your audience. Your speech is nothing without an audience! Research your audience to learn the best venues and platforms for your speaking engagements. Seek demographic data whenever you can. Knowing your audience will help you develop the right messaging. Which posts and what content generated the most reactions from your followers? If you’re conducting interviews on podcasts or going live on social media, research the best days and times to interact with them. When are your followers most active on social media? Get a firm understanding of your audience and the topics they want to hear, and plan accordingly.
9. Look the part. Represent your brand and dress like a member of your audience and client base. You should reflect both your product/service and your client base. Your image should be consistent with those you serve. Likewise, your attire should align with the price points of your featured product/service and topic. Otherwise, you won’t be trusted. You’ll look like someone who doesn’t even march to the beat of the drum you’re selling.
8. Dress comfortably. Now make sure you’re comfortable! Your goal with every speaking opportunity is to be present and engage with your community. If you’re uncomfortable you may fidget or be distracted, and it will show. Be mindful of the environment–will you be too cold? Sweat too much or overheat? Will the hat you’re wearing keep falling off? Will your jewelry bang against the microphone? Think ahead and dress for comfort so you aren’t distracted–and so you don’t become a distraction to your audience.
7. Remember to “PBS”. Pause. Breath. Slow down. The first thing we do when we’re nervous is start to speak too quickly, and we run out of breath! It’s not a good feeling to be winded when speaking, so correct this early. Practice first–in front of a mirror, or record yourself. Pay attention to the pace and rhythm of your speaking voice. If you find that you rush when nervous, slow yourself down by taking longer pauses between words, and taking deep breaths in through your nose and out your mouth. It’s very similar to trying to catch your breath while running or jogging. Here’s a tip: inhale and say “P-B-S” to yourself. It will remind you to pause, breath, slow down and pace your breath.
6. Invite a friend! The more the merrier, right? Yes, everything’s better with a friend! The banter between two hosts or speakers is very effective in engaging the senses and holding an audience’s attention. But be strategic about who you invite to join you. Guests and co-hosts should align with either your brand or your community; they should have a product, service or story that resonates with your audience. If they don’t, the discussion may not be of value to your audience, AND it may deter them from ever joining you again.
5. Structure your speech. Develop an agenda/program. Speaking opportunities are a great time to be authentic and put yourself out there–but be your BEST self. This is for your audience, so make every minute of their time and participation count. Don’t wing the conversation. Give them a preview of what you’ll cover in and what they will get out of your speech–it makes it easier for them to follow along and not lose focus. Then, make sure you discuss every point you promised! Leave them feeling fulfilled (not like they wasted their time) and wanting to hear you speak again!
4. Use notecards Again, don’t wing it! If you’ve taken time to carefully organize your speech and curate the discussion, you certainly don’t want to miss any of the key points! Work from a bulleted list of main points and/or agenda items. This helps you stay on topic and make the most of the time allotted. It’s also a great way to make note of follow-up questions and comments. Also, using notecards rather than flimsy paper make you look more polished and aren’t as noisy when handled!
3. Give your speech “CPR” – Credibility. Personality. Relatability. Someone told me recently, “I’m not buying the product if the owner is a mystery or doesn’t seem confident!” The first step in selling your product or service is to effectively sell yourself. People do business with those they trust, like and know. If you want to see the way I break down my CPR acronym and position it against what’s known in social media marketing as the “Know/Like/Trust” factor, you can check that out here.
Way too often these days I see people deliver in a way that mirrors a Ted Talk, as if that has become the standard for giving talks. But what makes people like you, and feel like they know you, is when you sprinkle a little of what they’ve come to learn about your personality! So as you develop your talking points, be sure to season it with what people know about your personality, and what makes you credible and relatable.
2. Memorize, and visualize yourself getting through your speech successfully. Once your agenda items are determined, memorize things like your introduction, and any jokes, facts/statistics, or other things that add flavor to the conversation. Memorizing and knowing them versus reading them also add to your credibility. They make the content feel more like second-nature to you and take away the anxiety out of forgetting something important!
Call it a “dress rehearsal” in your head! Visualize running through and sequencing your speech until you know exactly where you can inject a quote, story, testimonial, song, etc. without losing your place. Visualize your success!
1. Practice looking confident in your “Proud Stance” The Proud Stance is a term and exercise I use as I coach clients on how to fall into a comfortable but professional position that they can hold for at least one minute. I have a quick and helpful demo of how to practice your Proud Stance here. A minute is about how long it takes to introduce yourself at the top of your speaking opportunity and establish credibility. It’s also about the amount of time it takes to respond to a poignant question. So practice falling into a comfortable position that looks professional, but matches your personality. Try to hold that position without rocking, pacing, fidgeting or adjusting your clothes. A person who can hold a position with confidence commands an audience’s attention!
And there you have it–10 ways to improve your public speaking, and fine tune your speaking opportunities before you even begin to deliver them!
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I love money. I looove watching money grow. It gives me goosebumps.
I’m a natural-born saver, and watching money down to the penny throughout my life added immeasurable value to my professional skill set. And spending nearly two decades of my career in project management and account management estimating and managing large budgets transferred advantageously back to my personal life. Growing up, my ability to delay gratification was nearly as euphoric as the reward itself! That mindset has carried over into the life I live–firmly walking the line that lies between my means and beyond them! But otherwise my financial goals, I presume, were much like yours… I was in pursuit of happiness and financial independence (from my student loans!)
A few years ago while working on my vision board a magazine cut-out of the word “Happy” found its way to the center of the board. I continued to modge-podge my 2019, finding that in the end the visuals that represented my intentions and goals for the year all had money at the stem (surprise, surprise)–iterating things like, “Yes, you can travel on a dime!” and “Buy less, make more!” among others. The goals that encircled my “Happy” boiled down to purchasing a home I could retire in without being “house poor”, living comfortably through retirement, college savings, and a legacy of wealth for my children. That board became a roadmap to happiness. So, I started the financial journey to “Happy”. It was going to be calculated (no pun intended) and deliberate. Goosebumps.
Here’s how I saved $65K effortlessly:
I identified what it costed me to live. I opened my mobile banking apps and looked at every purchase and payment I’d made with my debit and credit cards that month. And I do mean every transaction–for utilities, credit card payments, student loan payments, dinners out, shopping, gifts to loved ones, etc.–and I tallied that amount against what I earned each month.
I gave myself a “pay cut”. Now that I knew what it cost me to live, I played a mind game with myself. I told myself, if that’s all I really need to live, why don’t I pretend that’s all I need to earn! I set up direct deposits into other accounts for the remaining net pay–the difference between my pay and my expenses–so that it never touched my hands and I never saw it! I knew it wad there if I truly needed it (or wanted it!) But I committed to seeing how much I could save if I ignored it and just let it stack. I did that consistently. Two years later those untouched earnings alone totaled $14,200!
I negotiated a pay raise. Alongside that “pay cut” I also increased my earnings. Listen, I practice what I preach. As I change consultant and coach I talk about confidence quite a bit. One of the things I tell people is to build confidence by quieting the voice in their head and instead listen to the people around them who have good things to say. During this period of aggressive saving I was also experiencing a stroke of good luck on a contract. I was performing well and was given a greater, more visible responsibility which turned out to be worth a higher hourly rate. That year I took home an additional $21K in consulting fees to stack alongside that $14,200. If you’re performing well at work, trust your skills and talents enough to negotiate a pay raise.
I got creative. Impressed with what I’d saved, I was inspired to rent out my basement to generate about $1300 month. I had my tenant transfer that $1300 directly into my savings for a total of $15,600 each year and $31,200 in two years!
These tactics didn’t put a strain on me at all. The money was all out of sight and out of mind. I even allowed myself to play with a little of the excess. I recommend this when the money is truly excess–I find it takes the sting out of aggressive saving when you can still reward yourself without compromising what you’ve saved. After I rewarded myself, I had saved $65K.
Spend less. Earn more. Combined, these four words can amass a fortune. I saved $65K for no reason other than to see what I could accomplish without effort but it became a lump investment into my financial independence, and the process was the linchpin to my investment strategy. Today I look back at that vision board… Retirement target: Met. The new home I could retire in comfortably: Check. Custodial accounts for my kids: Check. And it didn’t hurt one bit–in fact, it felt pretty damn good.
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Have you ever self-assessed how truly confident you are?
Before 2016 I thought I walked solidly in confidence. I was in a fulfilling enough career and had stacked away enough of a nest egg to comfortably take a break from nine-to-fiving and become a consultant. That leap of faith allowed me to be home to raise my children. I’d earned my master’s degree, offered niche consulting in strategic communication and change solutions, was an adjunct professor and establishing myself as a speaker. Surely, I’d done what I’d needed to do to stay relevant and keep my footing professionally.
But then unexpectedly it became necessary for me to work more hours outside of the home and return to the nine-to-five for a more consistent income. I thought I’d have a seamless re-entry to the workforce but instead spent 18 months job hunting with no offer! I was sailing through interviews but falling short when it came to an offer. I didn’t know where I was going wrong. Slowly, my confidence was being shredded; I was losing bits of it without even realizing it.
So when I did eventually land a job imposter syndrome set in immediately. Working in technology versus communications for the first time I shrank around those who seemed more knowledgeable. They made decisions while I waited for permission. Who was this woman I’d become? Where was the woman who once commanded the attention of large audiences, and whose students would hold out on taking a course until she was available to teach it?
Our confidence is shaped before we even enter grade school. Life’s experiences either continue to build confidence, or they shred it. At the roof of confidence is capability and awareness; to be confident one must have an ability or a certainty that they see as consistent and sustainable. Confidence is mastery. To lack or lose confidence doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist in other layers of your identity. You might lack the confidence, say, to step out on faith and package and distribute your secret barbecue sauce–even as you boast that nobody makes a better sauce! You might walk into a room knowing you could leave with anyone you want, but then allow that person to treat you terribly!
But hold on to the shreds–it’s those shreds that will make you whole again.
I began to piece my confidence back together again. I started listening and giving myself the grace to hear and believe those who spoke well of me. And I bet you’ll be able to weave your confidence back into shape if you do the same. Ask those closest to you and whom you respect, “What do I do well?” The hardest part will be to receive it.
Some years ago I stumbled upon a quote by Dr. Hendrie Weisinger in Psychology Today. I cut it out and taped it to my computer. She said, “If you can’t imagine yourself being successful, confidence will be hard to come by.” That said, the day you are finally able to say, “I do this thing well!” without shrinking in humility you will be on your way to building confidence and wading confidently in the depth of your abilities. Even if as you say it, you’re simply trying to convince yourself. No skill is too large or small to acknowledge–from your ability to declutter or drive long distances, to your grill cheese making or defrosting ice cream in the microwave to perfect soft-serve consistency!
First: Practice Confidence. To begin building confidence, you should first get a sense of what confidence looks and feels like. Observe the confident people around you–observe their posture, and how they speak about their skills or how they execute the tasks you admire. Is there someone whose swag and confidence you want to model? Commit to mirroring the confidence you observe until you start to inherit some of the qualities you admire.
Next: Identify something you do better than everyone else. Again, no skill is too small or too large to acknowledge. Again look to those closest to you for their input. Hearing good things said about you is essential for both building confidence and boosting self-esteem.
Then: Own and quietly perfect the skill. Quietly improve your technique(s) and research it to the point where you could teach a master class on the skill! Again, confidence is in mastery. Educate and invest in yourself where it supports and enhances the skill.
Finally: Reassess and Repeat. Confidence grows with repetition, and with repetition comes the simple recognition of your competence and capability in your skill.
Yes, hold on to the shreds… A shred, after all, was once a part of something so valuable it had to be destroyed.
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